i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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