Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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