It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize