let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
