oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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