I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
