is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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