After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
