i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dear god my vagina.
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