I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
