it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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