She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
