people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You are the jesus of drinking
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
