Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she peed on how many people?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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