I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
