The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
