I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
