Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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