This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize