I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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