this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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