Tell her she can't have a vagina
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
