I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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