girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
