so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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