I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I bet he comes in French.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
