...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
