I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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