"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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