So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
