he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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