Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
my liver is dry heaving
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
