Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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(315): View more from New York

can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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(330): View more from Ohio

that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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(206): View more from Washington

Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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(+61): View more from Australia

we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.

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