walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
