Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
