Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
