Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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