Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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