He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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