Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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