I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
