found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize