Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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