I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We need to get me chipped asap
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
