Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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