I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
