she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize