No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Drake has all the answers
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize