I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
