Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
