Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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