Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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