i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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