3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
