forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
