One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize