"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
