I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
