They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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