Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What a dumb baby whore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
