I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize