the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i think i just lost a toe
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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