I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
