I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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