I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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