so let's talk penis.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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