we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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