O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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