Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
