One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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