Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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