he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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