She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
