Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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