hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
