no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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