went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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