I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
