Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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